I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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