Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
