wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
