Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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