I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
