When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is Oprah even human
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
