Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
