Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
