Reggie can tackle my bush.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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