I want to stick my p in your. b.
Porn is love you can see.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
