So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
