it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
