just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I party with great urgency now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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