apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
