Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
