The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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