she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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