I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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