So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
