is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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