we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
