Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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