i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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