So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
