He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
