I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
