Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
