awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
