So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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