what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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