goodnight i made you a song goodbye
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize