Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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