I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize