Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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