I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize