Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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