I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
