that's an acceptable place to lick
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
