The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
