Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
