So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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