Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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