Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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