was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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