just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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