I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
