hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
