I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize