i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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