just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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