So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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