This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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