Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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