i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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