I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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