I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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