So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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