question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize