stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
