had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
