Sponge bath it is.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
