it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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