what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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