were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
