I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
