Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
