it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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